Game. Set. Match.

Okay boys, listen up, because this one is for you...

Figuring out the opposite sex has always been the million dollar question that's plagued the dating scene since the year dot and quite frankly, it's getting old.

"Does he like me?"
"Why wont he ask me out?"
"He said he'd call, why hasn't he called?"

The exclamative's get more and more frantic the longer the whole process goes on until we're nothing but a psycho mess. Single or not single in the end, the dating stage of every relationship leaves men and women whirling in a gnarly enigma. And do we ever actually find out the answers to any of those psycho-fueled questions?

In light of this, I've reached a conclusion: we all need to drop the bullshit.

Who said dating has to be a tennis match? Constantly fretting over who has the ball in their court; in a constant rally of witty remarks, casual flirtations and hints of interest. But not too much because then your opponent might think you're too keen and "OUT!" 15 love to him.

Personally, I prefer to go to Wimbledon for the sunshine, scones, and fabulous dresses; I'm not so interested in the game.

30 love.

[Top tip boys, write it down]

So let's get down to the nitty gritty. My own do's and don'ts when trying to impress that particular problem: The basic 'high five' rules to the game of life... well, dating.

1. No one likes a drama queen.

• That girl walking down the street is not a bitch who once spread shit about you for no reason and now gives you evils every day. And if she is, we don't care. Keep it to yourself.
• That girl also isn't your crazy, psycho ex-girlfriend out to get all of your new bae's. Chances are you drove her just as crazy with your love tennis as you're driving your current bae and everyone really just needs to chill the fuck out.

2. You wanna meet? Then arrange it!

• When a guys says "I really want to see you!" and then two weeks later you're still wondering what his face actually looks like when it's not edited for Facebook, are girls really suppose to believe he's so totally into us? 
• True, the us girls could arrange the date but WARNING: If we're doing the organising, it's probably because we're fed up of waiting for you and it's a fucking good job you're pretty. Deuce.

3. HELLO!!

• This one's for the guys and the girls. Are you sat at home, bored, wandering why there's nothing on TV at 3 o'clock in the afternoon? This is what is called THE PERFECT TIME TO TEXT! "Hello" will do just fine, it's how villagers used to greet each other before technology became a necessary barrier between humans and the real world. Advantage, male.
• Also, if you're the one receiving a "hello", don't ignore it for hours just because you don't want to appear to be on your phone all the time. It's just stupid. 90% of people our age are glued to your phone so your possible future girlfriend/boyfriend is going to know why you aren't replying. Before long, replies will be days apart and that's just not conducive to a healthy conversation. 

4. Bruno Mars isn't far off the mark.

• There was a time you boys could get away with murder, because us girls loved a bad boy. Some girls still do, but those stunts aren't working on the majority of us anymore, "Dark and mysterious" has just become "confusing and exhausting". 
• I'm not saying you have to buy us flowers, you don't even have to hold our hand. But give us your time, take us dancing and we're yours for the summer (after all, even Wimbledon doesn't last all year).

5. Compliments are brownie points.

• No, that does not mean you have a better chance of getting laid if you call us fit. Come on, boys, think! What do you really like about us? [say 'pussy' and I will climb through your computer screen and slap you].
• A guy once told me that I had a cute pout that was "subtle and hot" and I thought "Wow, this guy must have actually looked at my face long enough to notice that." The fact that he was useless at 1, 2, 3 and 4 is irrelevant, the lad gave a good compliment. 

So there it is. It really is that simple and it all boils down to one golden rule: Don't mess around!

Let's leave the tennis to the professionals this summer and just enjoy the sun, scones and maybe even some snogging. It's all about the summer lovin'.

Because when you've had the best, you have to be cynical about the rest of the men out there.

Peace Out ❤