I know what you're thinking; just another generic valentines-bashing blog post... Well you're correct.
[Insert overused argument about the ruined sentiment of valentines day due to mass consumerism here]
I've never boasted the kind of stomach to handle the influx of cheese on valentines day. The pressure to compare myself to other "lucky" girls around the world is enough to make me explode. The colour red makes my face look flushed and kind of like a tomato and I definitely don't own a complete matching set of underwear.
The list goes on as to why I am such an inappropriate candidate for Saint Valentines blessings [the man this entire holiday is about. Dear God google him if you're that ignorant of life before capitalism]. So why does the whole event bother me so much? Why do the haters feel the need to lie in bed 'till midday, scoffing their faces with junk food while watching sad films and pathetic chick flicks as if they've just been dumped by the love of their life?
Surely it's irrational?!
Last night on my way back from a sober night out at 4am, decided to purchase myself an American-sized cheeseburger with enough [full fat] mayo to drown myself. It was the best valentines present I could ever have dreamed of, all for £3.
But as I sat at home, feeling the calories pouring into my unexpecting digestive system, I realised I was fitting a stereotype, and a rather pathetic one at that.
I was suddenly that single-and-hating-it, lonely woman I pitied so much on valentines day; and I had been every single year.
"I've lasted 19 years without a Valentines so far, I can last another one..."
My Belgian friend had a point. So at 12:30pm I crawled out of my pit of sorrow, (which still smelled like burger) threw on some clothes and headed into town for coffee.
The Nero Discussion of the day? You guessed it! Valentines day, and our favourite couple out of all out friends.
As we sat their and gushed over their adorable (but not too cheesey) love for each other, the way they act round each other etc I started to feel a weird feeling bubble up inside me. Was I about to throw up or.... Oh God!! Was I about to cry?!
Belgian gave me the "get a grip" look I needed and swiftly changed the subject. Because the truth was, we did need to get a grip. We're not 60 year old spinsters in the Victorian times that never found love and were shunned because of it. We're 19 year old students, who, for whatever reason, were each other's valentines this year.
We live together, we cook together, we drink together; we're basically a couple as it is. So as it happens, there is no one in this country I would have rather spent my valentines day with this year! Thanks Babe, the gnocchi was great!
So, my fellow pessimists: put down the burger! Grab your best friend and a bottle of wine and fuck the system!
Happy Valentines Day
Peace Out ❤️
