Dating: It's all fun and games...?

All the feels of dating "fun guys"

When describing an idealistic relationship, a word that's probably the least surprising is "fun". Because, let's be honest, who wants to date a bore?

When a man describes his ideal girl, "fun" is up there in the top three must haves. Number one being that said imaginary fantasy should also resemble the likes of Mila Kunis.

For a woman, fun is also a very important requirement. It would probably be as highly rated as it is for men if it wasn't for the fact that a "fun guy" usually comes under the stereotype "massive fucking dickhead". Number one, in this scenario, is, of course, that he's hung like an elephant.

And there it is ladies and gentleman. Staring us right in the face: The two major problems with dating in the 21st Century...

1. The difference, and yet frightening similarities, between a woman's definition of a "fun guy" and a man's definition of a "fun girl"

2. The miscommunication of the two definitions between the two sexes.

Boom!

Being the perfect fun-time girl isn't always easy...

Don't believe me? Let's deconstruct:

A mans definition of a fun girl is someone cool and casual with next to no psychopathic tendencies, will be able to party like it's 1999, give an amazing blow job and laugh like a NOS addict at their jokes and funny comments.

A girls definition of a fun guy (idealistically) is someone cool, funny, a good listener with next to no fuck boy tendencies who will be able to party like it's 1999 (without running off with Becky with the good hair), be amazing in bed and tell jokes funny enough to make herlaugh like a NOS addict.

So far, so good. No confusion.

But what if I told you that when a man finds a girl this cool and perfect and, most importantly, chilled and easy-going; his conclusion isn't to marry her, it's to have fun with her. Because a mans definition of fun with a girl is somewhat more along the lines of Mila Kunis in Friends with Benefits. That's obviously before he decided it was time to start dry humping the tinder date who made him watch it. Ultimately, this led to them missing the most important part of the film: the lesson.

Us girls watched the fucking ending. Then we watched it again and again and again unfolding in front of our eyes with the "fun" guys we dated. Except life isn't a movie and the male protagonist doesn't realise his mistake and organise a flash dance for us.

It would have been easier to find pictures of fuck boys I know

.... But these ones are fun

What's even more frustrating, is that a "friends with benefits" contract is rarely discussed at the beginning. We don't get a choice in the matter. Instead we date, hang out with, go out with, go to dinner with, bring coffee to, introduce to our parents, meet parents, have sex, exchange presents, use grossly "cute" nicknames and speak everyday until things start feeling a little stale and old and the questions of "actually, what is this?" arises. At this point the guy freaks out, runs a mile, calls it a casual fling and uses phrases such as "We have fun don't we? We get along, don't we? I taught you how to fight and to fly! What else is there...?"

Yeah, mate, you're not Peter Pan and I could fight and fly just fine on my own, little boy. Fun while it lasted. But it didn't last and that's not my fault for being "crazy" or "seeming so cool at first...". It's your fault. It's because you're a fucking idiot, or fucking sneaky. That's what Wendy should have said. Pathetic bitch.

This isn't all guys, of course. I'm overreacting. I'm negatively stereotyping the opposite sex and it's not their fault that they're poorly represented.

Just like it's not all women that accidentally end up being in a friends with benefits because we seemed cool, casual and such fun at the start. Because we couldn't possibly be looking for fun and stability and a rave partner all at the same time. Just because we weren't actually looking for a relationship when you came along, doesn't mean that (and I can't believe I'm saying this) you're originally winning, fun, casual and cool personality didn't bring us round to the idea of a relationship with you.

99% of the time, the only difference between a man being in a relationship and a man not being in a relationship is a Facebook status and his ability to admit that the girl he sees in his free time, takes out for dinner, fucks and receives sexts and massages from is actually his girlfriend.

Men's fear of commitment but need for love and affection has lead to them simply lying to themselves which will only push girls away... Or piss us off and turn us into psychos as we repetitively repeat this fact to man after man while tearing our hair out and attending raves with our bestest buds instead.

I don't even need to apologise when I say: The next guy that comes along wanting to fuck me, be my friend and stop me from fucking other guys, better be willing to accept that that is a relationship. Otherwise, I'm out; and I'm not alone.

The rest of us will go too. Because that girl described at the beginning. That fun, cool, chilled, happy-go-lucky girl totally exists. She may not always look like Mila Kunis, but she certainly should be respected the same as plain Jane or that girl next door who are visibly "relationship types". Other girls you respect include that girl who served you coffee, the girl you met at the bar, the librarian and the tattooed wildling you had a one night stand with. We must all be respected.

If a girl just wants a casual, no-strings-attached, friend with benefits, then she'll say. And, if experience serves me right, she'll probably be a whole lot better at not catching feelings than you. A girl will also speak up if she decides that the guy she's been dating for a while would probably make a pretty good boyfriend.

Don't freak out men! We're not fucking phone contracts, we're allowed to go separate ways if it's not working and we feel like we're not getting enough GB for our money. I mean, try telling Vodaphone that!

When dating a new guy, it's hard enough trying to figure out their level of sanity, fuckboy, intelligence, compatibility and penis size (without obviously staring at their trouser-area for too long) without also having to figure out whether or not the dates we're dressing up for are leading to an actual relationship or the realisation that the man sitting across from you with a hopefully above average bulge is another fucking retard willing to commit but not willing to admit he's committed.

I need a fucking sit down...

We're living in an age that's focussed on having ones cake, and eating it. But no matter how much you try and tear us apart with your indecisiveness and stupid behaviour, we're still just one cake. Except, unlike a cake, I have legs and I can and will fuck off with the next cake that comes along and taste him instead.

Don't be a fool, be honest. And if you're not on the same page, then that's fine, there's plenty more fish in the see. After all, dating's all fun and games ...

Peace Out♥