The Arrogant Woman

Warning: this post is influence entirely by research done by Honey and Bunny, two of the terrible threesome

The site of the revolution

Free drinks, free taxis home- we don't even need to put out for the privileges anymore.

As the terrible threesome (we've been missing the third for a while) sit in a quiet cafe, we compare notes. Whether it's in a night club or getting a number from 'that guy' it turns out that one simple rule applies... If you don't ask, you don't get.

It's the 21st century and it turns out that women have realised a potential upper hand over the other sex: confidence. 

We've all heard of the arrogant man, who's confidence and self assurance makes him irresistible. So what about the arrogant woman? A woman who is confident, independent and knows what she wants. Men, imagine this kind of woman would you? Walking up to you in a night club and dropping all the shit, all the meaningless flirting and subtle hint-dropping; she wants you. You'd cripple to your knees surely? 

This new breed of woman is really taking control as well. We've been dubbed 'sassy' and even 'slutty' but there is no denying that there is very little difference between that and a cocky womaniser. 

But maybe this breed of woman isn't something that we decided, but something that was forced apon us. That's right men, this could be your fault. You've had your turn being womanisers and quite frankly, you've gotten lazy. Instead of being swept off our feet, we're lucky if we get to sweep our phone off the table because you're calling us. 

So now we're playing you at your own game. Scared? You should be.

You're chat up lines have been documented, your moves have been memorised and your attitude has been studied in countless films and chick flicks.

We know you, so it's about time you found out more about us. 

Just because we don't wear 50's dresses anymore, doesn't mean we don't want to be treated like we're being spun round a dance floor... And no, grinding your penis against our backs in a night club doesn't count.

We deserved to be wined and dined.

Take a tip from Karma Sutra.

Peace Out. 

My Time on Slut Row... Otherwise Known as Tinder

Imagine you're walking down the street, minding your own business when you can't help but catch someone's eye. There he is, checking you out, a tall dark stranger, checking you out. And there you are, checking him out. You smile and get on with your day considerably happier than you were 30 seconds ago. This isn't a movie, this genuinely happens... every now and then.

Now think about that happening to you on an average of 15 times a day. Then imagine that about 5 of these 15 (mostly) beautiful men decide they're going to talk to you. Even the most confident girl would wonder if someone had come along and given them a model style makeover over night... or just a full on face transplant.

Introducing Tinder, where you "match" people based on the fact that you both consider each other bangable. No other info needed, just pure shallow booty call fun.

On a totally experimental basis (I promise!) I downloaded the cheeky new app taking young single adults everywhere by storm.

Day 1: This was a stupid idea, I've been swiping people left like there's no tomorrow, where are the hot guys everyone's been telling me about??

Day 2: So as it turns out, nearly every guy I decide to like, has also liked me. Thanks new profile pic, you're doing well. Apparently all the guys on here are either psychic or massive stalkers because they all seem to know everything about my life and future plans... creepy!

Your Tinder picture is important.

Day 3: Turns out surfers aren't as 'rad' and indie as I thought. Yup, that's right, they're all on Tinder. Also discovered that by syncing Tinder with your Facebook, all you're info is transferred as well, which explains why all these guys have been asking me about New Zealand and journalism. Shout out to Tinder match number 10 for pointing that out for me... but no, I will not sit on your face.

Day 4: I'm an addict. Met up with some friends in town and could not put my phone down. Exchanged a few numbers today (or Whatsapp, or Facebook or Snapchat names). So far so good, thanks for restoring my faith in humanity guys, you're all nice people... Well, mostly! Yes I'm talking about you, Mr Fallen Angel. "Hey, looks like God has lost an angel. Or did you escape you naughty thing" is quite simply not how you start a conversation with a stranger. "Hey, did you know that pineapples don't grow on trees but like individual plants... like cabbages" is definitely a better way to capture my attention.

Day 5: This is getting a bit much, I feel like a top lying adulterant husband, and my friends think so too! I've got my favourites and I think it's probably time to narrow it all down, my ego is dangerous, selfies are occupying my life because apparently I'm sexy, with fabulous eyes (or eggs... my favourite opening line from a guy by far.)

Day 6: Now I'm just a slut. It has to stop. Goodbye Tinder, you were fun while you lasted, but my days are over. Tinder deleted.

It's been a week since I deleted it now and if I'm honest, I think it was for the best. Who needs men falling at your feet every hour a day? I definitely could do without the constant buzzing of my phone.

Over all, its just an shallow, ego boosting booty call all wrapped up in one big sexy app! So if you're horney, lonely and feeling a little down on yourself, give a few guys a like, get chatting, arrange a date and bang their brains out.

Call it what you like, it has it's uses...

Don't want to be a third wheel with your friend and her boyfriend? Take a Tinder date.

Need to get your mum off your back about being lonely and without a boyfriend? Use a Tinder date.

Peace Out, get laid.
 

The Older Man

Whether it's true or not, I've always preached the theory that women become mentally mature at a younger age than men... Therefore we have to pick someone older right?

It's no new trend, women have been attracted to older men for years. From Monica and Richard in Friends, to a school girl confessing that she's got a crush on a guy in college.

But as everyone hits the 18 mark and beyond, this theory seems to really come into it's prime; and apparently the age is 22. 

"Hope, it's all about the 22 year olds- I don't know what it is but they're the best in bed!" 

She's referring to her boyfriend of course. And I worked out that 22 is the current age of all those boys you thought were so attractive a few years above you in school. You always dreamed that one day they would notice you... And it turns out all it takes is a few years and serious style rethink. Who new? 

At times like this I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and tell my little awkward and nerdy self that it's okay, because in the future all those guys will actually be willing to sleep with you!

But what if you're talking to a 25 year old? Or sleeping with a 29 year old? Is there a point where it stops being 'older' and is just plain old? 

My theory is there are two lines a girl will not cross:

Over 30...

Obviously there's always someone who have a one night stand with a 35 year old man because they were just so wasted that night but over all, it's a general faux pa to be regularly sleeping with someone more than 10 years older than you.

Over 22 (if you want to bring him home) ...

Imagine being a mum (maybe you are a mum... Or a dad); your 19 year old says she wants you to meet her new boyfriend, she brings him home and introduces him as "hey, this is *insert name* and he's 27." Chances are he's not seeing his next birthday. But 22 is just about on that boundary of okay. 

So how did this come about? Do the lines increase a year everytime you get a year older? And where have all the guys the same age as you gone in this scenario? Are they also going for older women? Or are they continuing the cycle and have started going for younger girls? The questions go on and on. 

At the end of the day, I think it's up to the individuals and what they believe. But it's a trend that's been going on for centuries, why change it now? 

Peace Out.

I Like You.

The music blares, the dance floor bounces and peoples hands are thrown in the air in celebration.

Mazey. The one time of the year that it's okay to end up at Sound (the local night club). Anything goes and everyone is happy and intoxicated. 

Words aren't needed, communication is done through our moved on the dance floor, and thank goodness too because I doubt people have much to say beyond drunkern slurs of "I love you" and other profanities. We're here to have fun, we're here to let our hair down and what a better way to do it than at a town carnival. 

So here are some picture and my song of the night. Love you Lorde

400 Lux - Lorde

"We're never done with killing time, can I kill it with you, till our veins run red and blue....."

"We come around here all the time, got a lot to not do, let me kill it with you...."

"You pick me up and take me home again, head out the window again, we're hollow like the bottles that we drank....."

 

"You drape your wrists over the steering wheel, pulses can drive from here, we might be hollow but we're brave...."

 

 

"And I like you..."

 

 



 

"I love the road where the houses don't change..."

 

 

"And I like you ..."

 

 

 

"Where we can talk like there's something to say..."

 

 

 

"And I like you, I'm glad that we stopped kissing in the dark on the highway, we move in between the streets, I'd like it if you stay...."

 

 

 

"We're never done with killing time, can I kill it with you...?"

 



 



"Till our veins run red and blue."

Peace Out.