My Outrageous Decision

To: Hope Smyth
From: University of Brighton Admin
Re: Gap Year Enquiries 

Hi Hope, I think it would be a good idea for you to have a chat with Jo MacDonnell regarding this decision, and if you have not already done so I would also get in touch with Lorraine Roberts for further support and guidance, (I have copied both into this email). If you decide to go ahead with the gap year, we can intermit you – this means that your record will go on hold until you decide to resume your studies. Please let me know if this is what you would like to do once you have sought further advice from Jo and Lorraine. All the best, Amanda.

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So here it is: When life gives you lemons, sell those fuckers to pay for a well needed break from reality.

I've been trying to figure out the best way to write this post, justifying to everyone I know why I've made this outrageous decision. But the truth is, why do I need to? 

I've worked so hard for my education and have never needed more... until now.

Last week I woke up and realised that I was so utterly lost, I didn't know up from down. Life had lost it's muchness and I was left wondering what was the point of it all? 

Cliche's aside, I was miserable and I have been for longer than I can remember and I've worked myself into a rut as a result, locking myself away and pushing people away, scared of something happening that would ruin the very little mental stability I had left....

Basically, it was pretty shit and I think it's about time I burst out of that rut and get my fun side back in gear. 

So here it is: I'm taking a gap year.

Yup, you read that correct. I'm packing a backpack and going to Australia for six months starting in December. I'm going to work, travel, eat, pray, love and all that other cheesy shit our generation feels the need to do. 

Most importantly, I'm going to find me. Because once apon a time, I was really good fun and crazy and I loved every drop of life and you know what? There is no point going through all this crap if I'm not going to enjoy the ride. 

This is my fucking ride and I'm sick of not knowing whether life is passing me by or trying to run me over.

My soulmate sent me a poem from her hostel wall in China:

Hope is the thing with feathers,

That perches on the soul,

And sings the tune without the words,

And never speaks at all, 

- Emily Dickinson 

So I'm flying away and my blog will document my outrageous ride on this journey.

One more thing, whatever you're thinking right now about why I'm doing this, you're wrong.

Peace Out ❤