"... We stumble upon a rabbit hole..."

Masked Ball is a beautiful excuse to leave your identity behind, don the most beautiful mask you can find and dance around with your hands in the air and your hair flowing free, just like in the movies.

My mask was a beautiful excuse of white and pink and my eyes shined through two diamante circled black holes in the center of the mask. High on the ecstasy of excitement, we powered through the crowds. Aiming for the most mystical tent we could find, we stumble upon a rabbit hole that leads to a wonderland of flame throwers, cocktail mixers and beautiful burlesque fancy dress.

I was intoxicated and over whelmed by my surroundings; terrified of letting go but so thrilled by the freedom that I couldn't help but to fall down my own metaphorical rabbit hole into total, beautiful, all-consuming madness. It was a wild night.

It was a dark Knight. Suited, but mask-less. Staring wonderously, seductively at a girl standing behind me,

swaying from side to side in time with the music, but somewhat more captivated by the angle of his stare. I stare back; amazed that one person could look at another stranger in such a way that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

At the bar I'm pushed forward into an available gap, one arm reaching over my shoulder to grab the attention
of a rabbit; who takes our order and in a magical minute, our drinks sit in front of us. I can't feel my mouth. Or my hand for that matter. But I somehow manage to quench my thirst from dancing that can really only be described as faulted and clumsy.

His suit jacket looks like tweed but feels soft. His friends all smile and wink while I tumble into madness; staring past them all at the beautiful dancers on stage. The queen of hearts and ace of clubs are a beautiful blur of black and white high above my head. My distractions aren't silly though, and I'm not falling over. I'm being supported by a protective arm round my shoulder and remember that I'm not alone- despite having lost my companion for the night, I have somehow found another.

My head has cleared enough for me to dance, because life is too rigid and awkward to spend nights out bobbing like a parent at their child's Birthday party.

Leaving threw a substantially larger door to the one I came in threw, we enter darkness and a cacophony of music beats from the surrounding tents. Smoke exhales from my mouth and I recognize the dark Knight standing in front of me making idol chitchat to pass the time. He has freckles on his nose and is convinced I'm merely using him for alcohol consumption; but he smiles and the night is beautiful, so I forgive his accusation.

There appears the familiar faces, in glowing UV paint. Dancing as they walk, arms round each other and singing like night crawlers at quiet nights out in pubs. We laugh and hug and join the group of crazy misfits that I love. The knight disappears as the night comes to a close, tents start closing and fancy people stop dancing and change behind secret doors.

I'm in a UFO. It's not the first time I've been here but this time I've soiled my stunning white mask that glows blue due to the alien lights with orange paint. Even my dress looks more purple than pink. The UFO has died it with it's night-club lights and some guys white shirts glow so blue that they themselves light up the dance floor, just through reflection.

We walk under enchanted trees and down narrow paths riddled with uneven steps and fantasy lights. I look up to the sky, trying to decipher if it's stars I can see, or just the imprint of fairy lights in my vision from staring at them too long.

I'm down to one other misfit; the others have retired to beds and cars for the night/morning. We walk into the biggest, squarest tent to dance; and after taking a picture for a happy couple, pushing all the way to the front of the less mystical and more disco-lighted white box just in time for a drum and bass remix of Florence and the Machine. I'm standing on the moon, screaming the lyrics, loosing myself in the music and paying no attention to time... until it hits me.

My intoxication has subsided and been replaced with an overwhelming urge to fall over. It's 5:30am. We stumble back to the car, with the cold, early morning sun rise turning the sky blue, and revealing the damaged done to our enchanting wonderland.

The field is full of little cars, filled with empty cans and bottles of shame from fellow revelers. I'm given a hoody to keep warm and juice to dampen out the dehydration I've inflicted upon myself. The sky is so pretty and blue and my own little blue car in the distance looks like a distant dream as I stroll lonely up the road and back into common society, leaving behind my misfits spread out inside two cars that have been adjusted for sleep.

A warm beverage, hot shower and long sleep is all I need. All is provided. Over all, a magical night; with, or without a magical Knight. 

Back Up

Life is filled with unexpected blunders and typical cliches that set you back in life. Events such as not wearing a coat out only for it to start raining; or your favorite heels snapping on a night out when you're suppose to be looking great in front of your ex; or your laptop crashing the day before an important deadline, inevitably deleting all that hard work.

Whatever the outcome, the same thing always springs to mind "If only I had a back up". Nothing huge, we're not asking for a miracle, but the pack-a-mac in the back of the closet that you always consider putting in your bag and never do; or a pair of pumps squished in your cute clutch that you'd end up wearing for the walk home anyway; or if you'd remembered to back up the work on a memory stick, chances are this would have never happened.

Yes, this is going somewhere.
Two weeks ago I had a deadline for five pieces of coursework. Two and a half weeks ago my laptop said what seemed to be it's final farewell into electronic heaven. I screamed, threw a tantrum, screamed a little more and redid all my coursework in four days (note that I'm a crazily dedicated student) and all I could think the whole time was "If only I had a backup."

I'm going to University in five months along with a million other people in the country and around this time is when people realise that reality wont create an unconditional offer from oxford and that you should probably think about that slightly less acclaimed university that isn't asking you to have a mental breakdown while crazy revising for your exams to get three A*'s.

Going to University takes more than an accepted offer and a sore back from carrying all your belongings to the car. As I found out it takes keeping track of your National Insurance card (something I lost several years ago) and passport (something I forgot existed several years ago). Organisation has never been my strong point; I don't believe it comes to anyone naturally...

So when does that organised nature fall onto your plate? Or is it something that will forever be left to those super-humans who sit next to you in class and baffle you with their crazy enthusiasm and will always make you doubt your own ability to succeed at anything, other than copying notes.

But chin up. No matter how many times you walk out your house and wish you'd taken your umbrella; or spend hours on hold to the National Insurance call center trying to confirm your National Insurance number; or even accepting your dream university without a back up; life will always find a funny way of balancing out the karma.

If you don't believe me?
I got a P60 the day after realising I had lost my National Insurance card with my number on it.
I've accepted Brighton University to do Broadcast Journalism without a back up.
My laptop made a full recovery (miraculously) and is now in almost fully working order.
... And no matter how stressful life gets. Smile, because the sun has finally started shining.

PeaceOut♥

Generation Wasted

I don't know if the writing is big enough to read but this is my home made magazine article for my Media AS magazine Stellar.

Two Sugars - A little story from me to you

I awake in a dark and smokey room. I'm on the floor, lying on what appears to be the cushions from the sofa I could have sworn I fell asleep on last night with my body half covered by an old sleeping bag, which, if it had the means, could recite many more similar awakenings. The light streaming in through the industrial blinds of a living/kitchen/diner in a small male-inhabited flat burn and the thumping pain in my head only reminds me of my dreadful hangover from the night before.

My senses start to fade in, like the mornings light through ill-chosen blinds, and I can hear my own breathing; smell the shame of stale wine and half-smoked cigarettes in my matted hair that's survived on dry shampoo for the past two days. I can feel the covers just about covering the dignity of my naked body...
Naked body?

I'm suddenly aware of the person next to me. I can hear his breathing, as deep as the ocean and as peaceful a low tide. The covers rise and fall in his splendor and I dispute whether I should sneak away without looking back.
They say curiosity kills the cat and, like a cold, dead cat, roll over on my front and turn my head on the pillow to inspect another nights forgotten handy-work.

The man lying next to me is facing me, his broad shoulders towering far above my own and his dark quiffed hair only slightly ruffled in comparison to my neglected scarecrow's 'do'. His equally dark features are at least recognizable, but still a blurry haze from the start of the night, which inevitably ended now. He's clean shaven; his eyebrows and hair took frequently tamed and his flawless skin seems unaffected by his inexcusable on-coming hangover. The covers only just reach past his stomach and I vaguely remembered a conversation about him playing rugby. Or was it football? Maybe that was just my imagination.

I groaned with a hint of regret measured up next to the pain of my bodies poison consumption. He stirs gently in his sleep, scrunching his face like a little boy being woken by his mother before school. I hold my breath, begging he'd fall back to sleep so I could run off to the bedroom down the hall where I can remember my friend is staying and hope that she isn't still enjoying her nights catch. That much I can remember; this gentleman's name I cannot.

Opening his eyes after a short while I see a startle in his eyes, that I can relate to my early shock of finding him next to me. However, he soon smiles and appears to find the whole situation somewhat expected.
"Hello." I thought I'd start formal, it seems appropriate seeing as I don't actually know the man as far as my memory allows.
"Morning..." He replies, squinting his eyes to protect his aching brain from the ever increasing light from the window above.
"Are you clothed by any chance?" The pain and frustration of not knowing eradicated my subtlety - this is how this conversation is going to to go and it seems to confuse my new 'friend' but he smiles anyway.
"Of course not" he pauses to peek under the sleeping bag "and neither are you."
"Yes, that I am aware of." He laughs a morning-style, deep, croaky chuckle.

I bury my head in the pillow, murmuring words that don't quite make sense: "Urg! Again?!" I whine to myself more than my companion but he laughs regardless; apparently I'm amusing in the morning. His face falls now and he adopts and more serious tone, "You don't remember?"
"Yeah, this is the face of someone who remembers everything" I sarcastically spit in his direction. I'm not used to interaction in the morning; I've never been fond of sleepovers, but at least I have time to prepare a bright a chirpy persona, unlike falling into sleeping bag with Mr. Smith. I'm starting to get irritated by his amusement at my anguish.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were so drunk."
"I'm a very persuasive drunk" I manage a small smile in his direction, but realize that humor is my better option, "I'm also a slutty drunk so I suppose the fault is on me." He laughs, finally.
"You look..." He starts.
"A mess? Not as hot as you remember?" I begin to reel off statements I've heard uttered in passed experiences. I don't make a habit of it, but it seems to make a habit of me. Drunken blunders that is.
"Pretty" he finishes and I look at him for the first time since he woke up. He's lying on his back now, looking up at me leaning on my elbows in an attempt to appear more awake.

I soften my tone "Thank you" creeps out from behind my almost smiling, dried-out lips as a name springs to mind. I giggle and relax in the knowledge that I don't have to survive the rest of the morning pretending to know this mans name.
"And I suppose you're Ollie?"
"Oliver." He holds out his hand to shake and I adjust myself on one elbow and softly place my other hand in his.
"Nice to meet you. Again" I joke
"Again" he repeats and we both laugh. He kisses my forehead as I bow forwards and decide that this is definitely one of my better mornings after.
"So, Oliver, would you like a cup of tea?"

I may never meet this boy again, but at least I'll forever remember how many sugars he takes. 

Outrageous Photoshoot

Using a standard digital camera and a fade-in/out spotlight, I managed to get some pretty good shots from the shoot.

I used my friend Heather as a model; we went through a pack of straights between us during the shoot and several glasses of wine before hand but we got through it and no one's dignity was harmed (which could have been a different story had she worn the 3 sizes too small bralet as we originally planned).
Enjoy.

I know some of the colours are a bit off but that's just how the world works. They look better as prints and I'll post the front cover of my mock magazine "Stellar" (music magazine) when it's finished being messed with on photoshop. 

Peace Out ♥

Mission Impossible: Road Trip

Start Point: Praa Sands, Cornwall
Destination: Bournemouth Uni Halls
Mode Of Transportation: Rover Metro

Why? I received an email inviting me to an Activity Day at Bournemouth University and thought "shit I can't afford the train there and back!" So put out a plea on Facebook for a driver, wing man and place to stay in return for petrol money and food... The trip was organised that night and we set off a month later.

Verdict: A bloody good shout on my behalf if I do say so myself.
Other than a near death experience in Exeter, it all went pretty smoothly. Although it helps if you know which  lane to be in on a six-lane road coming onto a round about and it doesn't hail day-after-tomorrow style running back to the car from the service station.

When we got to Bournemouth it was clear that university is going to be a serious culture shock. Ignoring the fact that they drink like old Cornish fisherman in Wetherspoon's and that one of the many Asda's in the area is so big it has a McDonald's inside it despite nearly everyone I met being overly obsessed with their appearance; Chinese deliver! To your door! You phone, you order, and they show up at your door!
I'm from Cornwall! If I asked any take away restaurant to deliver to my house, they'd end up down a tin mine or just say no.

Despite turning up to the uni with a crazy hangover and blagging my way through a short article about the underlying moral issues of eating a horse, I did get an offer about a week later so something must of gone right.

*Note to readers: Don't turn up hungover to an open day and never try to over take a lorry while going up a hill in an old car.

Peace Out ♥

New Years - 2013

WE SURVIVED!
Who'd have thought that a civilization that died out thousands of years ago failed to predict the end of the world.

[Also, who'd have thought exams would get in the way of my blogging.... but they did.]

So Happy New Year everyone! I hope everyone enjoyed it!

I dressed up a hippy/gypsy/someone from the 60's and enjoyed the count down and fireworks with my two great friends, Doctor Who and Tom Cruise; just how it's suppose to be, in St Ives, Cornwall.

Seriously check it out, it's a beautiful place! 

L-R: Me as a hippy, Ellie, Callum, Amy as a pink Princess
and Lucinda as Columbia from RHPS

I've started the year with a clean slate, as always, and tried my best to stick to my New Years resolution of staying happy and focused on the future. I know it's cheesy but it's easier than trying to quit chocolate or alcohol! 

This year I'll turn 18, finish college, start university, move out, become and adult and learn how to use a washing machine. All in a few short months!

All this uni business has led to several carelessly planned road trips around the UK with friends for interviews and open days. 

Next Tuesday I'm going to Bournemouth with two friends for an open day. Funny story: Couldn't afford a train ticket late notice so instead made a status begging any willing driver to take me if I paid petrol. The result? A driver, a place to stay for two nights and a wing man. 

It's who you know, not what you know.

This is what we'll actually be going in!
WATCH OUT BOURNEMOUTH!

(Photo from Tumblr)
If only all road trips were like this!

So just a warning to you all! Cities will be terrorized and roads will be closed when we're on the road! 

I hope the year will go on just as it has started: With Reggae/Ska and well, The Lumineers playing on my Ipod; keeping busy with friends; (finally) passing my driving test and just generally enjoying my new life as an almost grown up. Never quite prepared....

I'll be posting about my fun times in Bournemouth and Portsmouth (and Brighton, London, Hertfordshire and everywhere else). 

'Till then,

Peace Out ♥