WonderLost

This is my face now...

It's been a while, hasn't it?

I'm half wondering if I've forgotten how to write all together. Unless you count taking coffee orders and venting in my diary as adequate writing experience then I've been somewhat lacking as of late and I think I owe my totally imaginary readers an explanation.

Since the 14th December 2015 I have been 10,780 miles away from my little seaside life in Cornwall, living it up/totally stumbling through life in Sydney, Australia. Vowing to leave all forms of publishing and journalistic thoughts behind until June 2016 when I supposedly return to my well mapped-out life on the yellow brick road to success and marriage and all that jazz.

When I started my travels I had absolutely no plan and no idea what I wanted to gain from my trip. I vowed never to hashtag "wonderlust" or "gap yarrr", learn how to surf and stay far away from men and their allure. Two out of three ain't bad.

Definitely don't fit the #wonderlust
streotype

So what's my life like now? I live in Newtown, a Bristol/Brighton-like suburb in inner west Sydney, where I also work as a waitress in a cafe that has a menu dedicated to bacon, South American coffee and blue denim with black and white striped uniforms. I eat at a vegan charity restaurant called Lentils is Everything where you pay what you can afford and I holiday in Bali and escape to Gerringong once a fortnight. I shop at Billabong and haven't blow dried my hair since my hair dryer (and the rest of my hand bag) was mugged from me during an eye-opening spell of fundraising nearly 2 months ago.

Bali was okay I guess....

I've made friends for life in the places I've traveled and collected all the weirdest and best kind of memories. I've been poor, I've been rich, I've almost been homeless a few times but I've always stumbled through it all, enjoying nearly every second. Wondering, lost, but happy.

Things I've learned include:

• Australia isn't actually that expensive, until you come back from Bali because everything there costs $3 max.
• It's a really fucking small world. Like really small. That person you don't want to bump into, will totally pop up at some point.
• Fuck making plans. I didn't even make plans and I still failed to achieve any of my original goals. Want to know how that's possible? Go travelling.
• Bladder infections are stupid.
• Make-up is stupid
• Owning more than 5 T-shirts, 2 pairs of shorts, two pairs of jeans, 3 bikini's, flip flops and trainers is stupid. No matter how much you want to raid all the surf shop sales. 
• Over dramatic people are an unnecessary drain on your energy resources. 
• It isn't always sunny in Australia. In fact, it rains A LOT in Sydney, and now it's nearly winter, it's bloody cold. I'm still figuring out who I can blame for this massive cover up of information. I think it's the media. Fucking irony.
• NEVER underestimate the significance of the avocado. Because they're everywhere, and there is no escaping them.

  

  I was always a foodie... 

What's next? 

I'm going back to Bali in May for 10 days of fun fun fun and going to New Zealand in June and Splendour in the Grass (festival in Byron, headliners include The Strokes and The Cure) in July and Perth in September. 

Hang on a minute? Wasn't I suppose to be 10,780 miles away in Cornwall in under 2 months? 

But how can someone leave this behind?

Whoops... 

Keep you posted from now on, I promise.

Peace Out!

24 Days and Counting

There really is no way of describing the freaking panic and nauseating excitement of realising that my trip of a life time down under is less than a month away. I'm now forced to count down the remaining time in weeks and days.

3.233 Weeks.
24 Days.
576 Hours.
34,560 Minutes...

Amidst this panic, which left me rapidly inhaling my own carbon dioxide out a paper bag, I started realising all the things I needed to do before I left. At first all the obvious stuff came to mind such as packing and saving enough money and purchasing the strongest bug spray money can buy.

But then I started to think about all the little things I was going to miss about home; all the things I needed to do one last time for the next 6 months, and I only have 24 days to do it all!

I've made hundreds of draft to do lists for things to pack, things to buy, things to remember (passport/visa/insurance details etc.) but haven't even considered the things to do before I leave.

I tore myself away from the paper bag, flattened it on the table and started to scribble a list of all the things I needed to do. My pre-adventure bucket list.

So here it goes...

• I need say goodbye to the friends and certain special people who I haven't said goodbye to yet. I was forced to say an early farewell to most of my friends a few weeks ago because they're all at university, but there's still some serious buddy time to squeeze into the next 24 days. 
• I have a gift card for a shop in town that runs out in 2 months that I seriously need to use up. I'm not going to need jumpers and jeans for almost a year and that's all they're selling but I need to spend it!
• I need to eat a Cornish pasty... I know Warrens delivers to Brighton, but I doubt they deliver to Sydney.
• I need to visit Praa Sands. It's my favourite beach in the world and if I'm going to be adulterous and spend six months on the golden sands of the east coast then I should probably say a proper farewell.
• I need to buy one last large latte from my favourite coffee shop with the sexy barista I've crushed on for about 2 years, because his coffee is fantastic and his smile makes my day.
• Passing my driving test would be totally radical. It would be totally awesome to go pick someone up from somewhere and take them somewhere else just because I can. It would also be dramatically useful in Australia. Give me that van!
• I want to make sure my kitty gets plenty of cuddles so she doesn't forget me in her absence and me and the dog will have to go for one of our crazy long walks to who-knows-where.
• Last but certainly not least, I need some family time. It could easily be argued that I've had far too much family time since I decided to take a gap year and live at home 3 months longer than recommended for someone my age. However, my Mum and I have a tradition of going to the big M&S in Hayle for coffee and toasties and I'd like to do it again before I fly off to an M&S deprived country. I want a movie marathon night with my sister and a night in cooking for my Dad, because he bloody loves my food and he'll probably miss it in the next six months more than me!

Realising that's a lot to do in 24 days, I've resumed the hyperventilating position with my all important to do list inflating and deflating in front of my crossed eyes.

I think I'm going to go and lie down.

If anyone can help me complete any of these bullet points I'd be very appreciative and if you have anything else to add... fuck off! Can't you see I'm freaking out enough?!

Peace(?) Out ♥






 

The metaphorical new leaf of doom

Turning over a new leaf. It's a cliche adopted by many.

A promise from a son to father that he won't fail his next exam because he was hungover. 

A promise from boyfriend to nearly-ex-girlfriend after he betrays her trust again. 

A promise to yourself to start a fresh and leave the past behind you. 

Sometimes it's not that easy. When reading a book, you don't turn the page and totally forget what was on the previous page. You'd never finish the story and if you did, you wouldn't understand the plot or concept and you certainly wouldn't have learned anything from whatever moral might be hiding between the lines. 

How does anyone ever move on completely, cut all ties and pretend like everything that happened before that moment was just memories and learned lessons? 

Before diving into any new relationship, I always scroll through my Facebook friends thinking "who needs to go to make this relationship work?" The answer's usually pretty simple; estranged exes, previous booty calls, any friends I've accidentally slept with that one time. You name it, they gotta go.

Of course, that's quite a plunge to take. Turning round and looking at this guy and deciding he's worth burning your black book for, knowing you'll have to buy a new one and start all over again if it turns out to be a mistake. 

Do men do the same thing? Do they rid their past of threatening evidence before diving in to a new relationship or do they just hope for the best, knowing they have back up just in case it goes to shit? 

Men are a mystery. 

So this metaphorical new leaf is never as easy as you might hope, no one wants to throw out their previous exploits, take the plunge and, God forbid, actually trust another human being to do the same. 

In my experience, the new chapter in your life go two ways. It can turn into a book or barely last two pages before you decide it sounds like shit, select all and delete in a heartbeat and start the chapter again. Kind of like this blog post actually.

In light of this discover, I've coined a new phrase: the metaphorical new leaf of doom. Because no matter how many times you turn over a new leaf, take the plunge, burn the black book and, here it comes again, trust another human being (!!!) it could always be doomed.

So I leave you with no conclusion but a mere 'to be continued...'

How do you know when it's right to take the plunge and when it's doomed to the 'lessons learned' chapter of the book? 

And can you ever really burn the black book of doom? I mean it's all online now baby.

Peace Out ❤️

Qualms and Resolution

When I decided to take a gap year, I think it's fair to say I didn't consider all of the obvious hiccups I may face before I reach Australia.

It's October. 68 days before I fly out to Aus for six months (and live on my own and attempt to not fail and hopefully get a sun tan) and the summer has officially come to an end in the UK. The tourist season is over and my plans for 30 hours of work a week have jumped on the First Great Western out of Cornwall at a speed far quicker than any Cornish train.

On top of my dwindling budget, I didn't consider that not going back to university resulted in me having to stay at home. Watching all my friends run around on Facebook, making in rain with bare student finance and #lovinglife.

Meanwhile, in Cornwall, I'm getting wasted at work drinks while desperately searching for another job and seriously considering selling an organ to pay for the rest of my trip. Moaning into cheesy pasta and watching Bridesmaids and finding way too many parallels between me and the main character. 

The mid youth crisis continues but not all hope is lost.

I've been filling my time with eating out. Cornwall may have its short comings, but great eateries is definitely not on of them. 

With this in mind I've started a new blog: What's Up Dog

It's a food blog where I rate all the places I go and eat PLUS me attempting to improve my own cooking skills! 

Link and more info to follow 

Peace Out ❤️

My Outrageous Decision

To: Hope Smyth
From: University of Brighton Admin
Re: Gap Year Enquiries 

Hi Hope, I think it would be a good idea for you to have a chat with Jo MacDonnell regarding this decision, and if you have not already done so I would also get in touch with Lorraine Roberts for further support and guidance, (I have copied both into this email). If you decide to go ahead with the gap year, we can intermit you – this means that your record will go on hold until you decide to resume your studies. Please let me know if this is what you would like to do once you have sought further advice from Jo and Lorraine. All the best, Amanda.

_________________________________

So here it is: When life gives you lemons, sell those fuckers to pay for a well needed break from reality.

I've been trying to figure out the best way to write this post, justifying to everyone I know why I've made this outrageous decision. But the truth is, why do I need to? 

I've worked so hard for my education and have never needed more... until now.

Last week I woke up and realised that I was so utterly lost, I didn't know up from down. Life had lost it's muchness and I was left wondering what was the point of it all? 

Cliche's aside, I was miserable and I have been for longer than I can remember and I've worked myself into a rut as a result, locking myself away and pushing people away, scared of something happening that would ruin the very little mental stability I had left....

Basically, it was pretty shit and I think it's about time I burst out of that rut and get my fun side back in gear. 

So here it is: I'm taking a gap year.

Yup, you read that correct. I'm packing a backpack and going to Australia for six months starting in December. I'm going to work, travel, eat, pray, love and all that other cheesy shit our generation feels the need to do. 

Most importantly, I'm going to find me. Because once apon a time, I was really good fun and crazy and I loved every drop of life and you know what? There is no point going through all this crap if I'm not going to enjoy the ride. 

This is my fucking ride and I'm sick of not knowing whether life is passing me by or trying to run me over.

My soulmate sent me a poem from her hostel wall in China:

Hope is the thing with feathers,

That perches on the soul,

And sings the tune without the words,

And never speaks at all, 

- Emily Dickinson 

So I'm flying away and my blog will document my outrageous ride on this journey.

One more thing, whatever you're thinking right now about why I'm doing this, you're wrong.

Peace Out ❤

Game. Set. Match.

Okay boys, listen up, because this one is for you...

Figuring out the opposite sex has always been the million dollar question that's plagued the dating scene since the year dot and quite frankly, it's getting old.

"Does he like me?"
"Why wont he ask me out?"
"He said he'd call, why hasn't he called?"

The exclamative's get more and more frantic the longer the whole process goes on until we're nothing but a psycho mess. Single or not single in the end, the dating stage of every relationship leaves men and women whirling in a gnarly enigma. And do we ever actually find out the answers to any of those psycho-fueled questions?

In light of this, I've reached a conclusion: we all need to drop the bullshit.

Who said dating has to be a tennis match? Constantly fretting over who has the ball in their court; in a constant rally of witty remarks, casual flirtations and hints of interest. But not too much because then your opponent might think you're too keen and "OUT!" 15 love to him.

Personally, I prefer to go to Wimbledon for the sunshine, scones, and fabulous dresses; I'm not so interested in the game.

30 love.

[Top tip boys, write it down]

So let's get down to the nitty gritty. My own do's and don'ts when trying to impress that particular problem: The basic 'high five' rules to the game of life... well, dating.

1. No one likes a drama queen.

• That girl walking down the street is not a bitch who once spread shit about you for no reason and now gives you evils every day. And if she is, we don't care. Keep it to yourself.
• That girl also isn't your crazy, psycho ex-girlfriend out to get all of your new bae's. Chances are you drove her just as crazy with your love tennis as you're driving your current bae and everyone really just needs to chill the fuck out.

2. You wanna meet? Then arrange it!

• When a guys says "I really want to see you!" and then two weeks later you're still wondering what his face actually looks like when it's not edited for Facebook, are girls really suppose to believe he's so totally into us? 
• True, the us girls could arrange the date but WARNING: If we're doing the organising, it's probably because we're fed up of waiting for you and it's a fucking good job you're pretty. Deuce.

3. HELLO!!

• This one's for the guys and the girls. Are you sat at home, bored, wandering why there's nothing on TV at 3 o'clock in the afternoon? This is what is called THE PERFECT TIME TO TEXT! "Hello" will do just fine, it's how villagers used to greet each other before technology became a necessary barrier between humans and the real world. Advantage, male.
• Also, if you're the one receiving a "hello", don't ignore it for hours just because you don't want to appear to be on your phone all the time. It's just stupid. 90% of people our age are glued to your phone so your possible future girlfriend/boyfriend is going to know why you aren't replying. Before long, replies will be days apart and that's just not conducive to a healthy conversation. 

4. Bruno Mars isn't far off the mark.

• There was a time you boys could get away with murder, because us girls loved a bad boy. Some girls still do, but those stunts aren't working on the majority of us anymore, "Dark and mysterious" has just become "confusing and exhausting". 
• I'm not saying you have to buy us flowers, you don't even have to hold our hand. But give us your time, take us dancing and we're yours for the summer (after all, even Wimbledon doesn't last all year).

5. Compliments are brownie points.

• No, that does not mean you have a better chance of getting laid if you call us fit. Come on, boys, think! What do you really like about us? [say 'pussy' and I will climb through your computer screen and slap you].
• A guy once told me that I had a cute pout that was "subtle and hot" and I thought "Wow, this guy must have actually looked at my face long enough to notice that." The fact that he was useless at 1, 2, 3 and 4 is irrelevant, the lad gave a good compliment. 

So there it is. It really is that simple and it all boils down to one golden rule: Don't mess around!

Let's leave the tennis to the professionals this summer and just enjoy the sun, scones and maybe even some snogging. It's all about the summer lovin'.

Because when you've had the best, you have to be cynical about the rest of the men out there.

Peace Out ❤

That Inevitable Election Blog Post

With the big day fast approaching, it's hard to ignore that this time round, there's something very,very wrong with first time voters. They're not voting.

After the burn of the Liberal Democrats in 2010 (need I say more) we, who are stereotyped as inactive and uninterested in politics, have been left scorned and somewhat unable to trust a political party again.

For the more political bunch out there, the problem isn't whether or not to vote, it's who to vote for. Who is worthy of our vote? Which party will actually benefit our needs now and in the future?

Before this election, it's fair to say I had a lot of opinions, but very little knowledge on politics. Now I know what I'm asking for for the next five years.

I want to be able to leave university and still be able to afford to live so a higher minimum wage (or to actually be paid minimum wage) would be much appreciated.

I want to get onto the property ladder as soon as possible without being turned down for a mortgage because I decided to get a higher education.

I want the country to realise how much it could potentially continue to destroy the beauty that we live in. Stop fracking, stop covering up for the damage we do to the environment and step up to a cleaner way of living.

I don't want my country to be so in debt that my taxes take away my hard earned wages.

Finally, I want the area I live in to be protected from heavy development in all the wrong places and for localisation to actually work and for us locals to get what we need from our council.

It's not about tuition fees anymore, I think we, as a collective, have accepted that no matter who promises reductions and scrapping them all together is in some kind of fairy land. Even if they were scrapped, it would probably be implemented in a few years from now by which point I would have finished university and still be in debt.

My demands maybe selfish, but no more so than the person asking for more benefits to feed their two dozen children and no more irrelevant than the lawyer asking to scrap to the mansion tax.

I am still one vote.

We are over six million votes.

We may live in an ageing population but who in their right mind could ignore the needs of six million people who are begging for just one party to make our decision that little bit easier?

Who are we going to vote for?

Who are you going to use your human right on?

By voting, we have the power to sway the entire election in a different way. Our way. Just look at the Liberal Democrats this time round.

We've heard every government claim that we're the future of this country. The future leaders, the future company owners, the future builders of this country and without appealing to us, then who is left to vote for?

Shall I vote so my grandparents get a higher pension? So the shop I work in pays less tax? So one day if I ever become rich, at least I can own more than one mansion?

By voting, we are also voting for democracy. We are voting for the continuation of our right to have our say.

Our vote can be tactical, or it can be honest but it's never been more important to prove that we do deserve to be paid attention to.

So if you've registered, then congratulations, your university has probably given you a free night out.

If you still don't know who to vote for on Thursday this check out this link: ISideWith

It's a free quiz to help you understand which party aligns with the things you want for the next five years.

Peace Out.