Date Nights

Someone once told me that the only time a girl shaves above the knee is on a first date. Whether this is true for the rest of the female species or not, I find it pretty strange. The first date routine is something that we all know off by heart, and yet it still baffles me.

While I stand there in front of the mirror, applying a special kind of goopy pencil to my freshly butchered eyebrows before deciding they look absolutely no different, I nod and move on to the next step of getting ready... Which is what exactly? 

Start a blog post apparently. 

As I get older, and my dates also get considerably older, I realise that the word 'date' suddenly means more than grabbing an ice cream and holding hands or going to the cinema to sit in silence for a few hours. I actually have to think about things. 

Things like goopy eyebrow pencils and sexy/uncomfortable push up bras. Considering what connotations my decisions will give off: hair up = too formal? Hair down = too chill? Who knows... Shit, I'm going to be late! 

Cue mad panick, burning myself with hair straightners and realising I haven't thought about shoes or a jacket. Oh my god, is it raining? Because my Parker is not the best first date thing to be wearing...

4 hours, 8 rum and pepsi's, six arse grabs and an empty promise to call later, I run up my four flights of stairs and tell myself there's plenty more fish in the sea...

I've been trying to figure out how to end this post for a week now... And I've come to the conclusion it's just not possible...

I could sit here and rant about why we make ourselves pretty for a date, or why we continuously go on these dead end dates. I could even sit here and pour out my heart about how I've just gotten out of a relationship and all that jazz. All of these possibilities have been written up and deleted countless times so here's my actual conlcusion.

We date for many reasons; 

We may be determined to find the love of out lives. We might just be looking for a quick fling or someone to spoil us with food and drinks occasionally. We might even be golddiggers hoping to find Mr Very Large Trust Fund (what a name aye??).

The point is, whatever the reason we date. It's been going on for centuries and no matter how pointless it is smearing paint all over your face for a date that might not even make it to second base. We do it because we can. And that's all that matters. 

Peace Out ❤️

Bristol: Can I get a Hallelujah?

What happens when you take a country bumpkin and throw her with force into a city? 

That's the question I've been asking myself since school.
Living under no illusion that I'd be able to be a rich and successful journalist for Vice, Vogue or really anyone worth working for from the sunny sea side county that is Cornwall; it did cross my mind that city living would be on the cards.

Ignoring a few failed attempts (and several panic attacks) trying to navigate London on my own in the past 19 years, I'd never really spent much time in any of the UK's big, bustling, bodacious cities and since starting university in the high-rise capital that is Hastings* I realised that some city education might be in order.

The Experiment: 5 days, 4 nights out, 3 crash pads, 2 birthdays and a lot of shopping
Location: Bristol, near Somerset

Outcome:

DAY ONE: 8 hours, 5 coffees and a two hour stop off in London (panic attack mostly avoided) I stumble off the coach in the official centre of Bristol.

It's nice. Lovely even.

I find a coffee shop and sit to enjoy the scenery and try and figure the place out. What is Bristol? What is it's identifier, as Olive Penderghast would say?

The answer to that question was genie pants, and a lot of them. Sat there in jeans and boots, I started to feel shockingly over dressed- like I would have fit in better if I'd stumbled off the coach in my pajama bottoms.

Me and my wifey outside
Timbuk2

In that moment it became overwhelmingly clear why my dance student, genie pant wearing, beautiful hippy friend chose to come here.

A few hours, and several layers of make up, later and I'm on a boat; Thekla, to be precise. If you haven't heard of Will and the People, then you will struggle to understand the amazing choice of venue and atmosphere that was created simply by their indie, Hawaiian shirt wearing presence. They're pretty cute too! Happy Birthday Jess!

[Seriously, check them out: Will and the People, Misunderstood]

The rest of the night blurs into my vodka and energy drink and we wind up at Timbuk2, barefooted and with even more friends.

DAY TWO: Why do I have the words "she is the mask you live in" saved in my notes on my phone?

I think I ate a hot dog last night, which I'm pretty sure goes against my new vegetarian diet, but we live and learn.

Because I clearly missed the memo that stated everyone from the Penzance (Cornwall) area must attend a university near Bristol, I'm lucky enough to find the city incredibly familiar. Everywhere I go, I'm about as much likely to bump into someone I know as I am in Cornwall.

The city is beautifully old and rich and full of the right kind of life. Obviously every time I walk past the college green I imagine I'm one of the characters from Skins (series 1-4 only) but who wouldn't?!

Being here isn't like being in a rat race. Men in suits aren't constantly barging me out the way and women in high heels are looking down at my converse like I'm scum. So far so good...

So far, so much better than London.

Ramshackle night at the O2 Academy does not fail to disappoint. Despite my still very hungover state and the fact that I may cry if another big burly bloke grabs me like an Irish gypsy at a party, it's a great night.

We (who I should probably mention is my "bestie wing man, Mozzy" from my Boardmasters or Sexmasters? blog from earlier this summer) have joined forces with the rest of the crew from Boardmasters Festival and it's safe to say that as a group, we know how to party.

Without offending too many people, my drunken mind is starting to wonder why I didn't come to Bristol Uni.

Of course a proud moment came at 3am when I decided enough was enough and managed to crawl into a taxi back to my sofa for the night (which was actually half of a double bed - thank you wifey!) and wake up well rested and hangover free!

Can I get a Hallelujah?

Pre-Urban Outifitters lunchintons in
Wagamammas 

DAY THREE: Shopping. Because when in a city, us country folk have to take full advantage of the shopping spree potential. I've been saving all summer for this.

First stop: Urban Outfitters.... Wow.

I find it hard to admit this being a girl seriously into fashion, and Vogue, and that whole side to journalism, but I had never been in Urban Outfitters before. It's safe to say that despite the small hate tweet concerning the "EAT LESS" top, I love it. It's like they crawled inside my head and pulled out all the different fashion styles that I love and put them in a shop. And then added the book 'It' by Alexa Chung. Hello Mecca!

Combined with lunchingtons at Wagamamma's and dinner at TGI Friday's (another first for me) today was pretty bloody successful.

"Calling all students and teenagers in the Bristol area!! UWE halls is having a party!"

It's Birthday #2.

DAY FOUR: That was a crazy night. It's safe to say that I am wounded, and sore, and more hungover that I thought possible. Also, thanks to a late night shower, my hair is resembling that of a blonde Whoopi Goldberg in the concluding scene of Sister Act. I need a falafel.

Perched on a bench in a little patch of green outside the falafel stand, it soaks in that tonight is my last night in Bristol. A quiet night in, where I will inevitably fall asleep on the sofa at about 10pm watching films.

DAY FIVE: A falafel burger, an 8 hour coach journey, 5 coffees and a two hour stop off in London (panic attack mostly avoided) and I stumble off the bus back in Hastings.

Bristol freshers has ended, but Brighton's has just begun. Wish me luck!

Peace Out ♥

Front Room Discussions

Sat in the front room, the new hottest hang out in town, we discuss the hottest men in town, and out of town, and everywhere in fact. But conversation soon adjusts to a new hot topic: the future and it's terrifying possibilities - or lack of them. 

"What are we going to do?" The taboo question for us (nearly) twenty something's to even think about, let alone utter out loud. What does the future hold? Will we make it in the music industry? Will we become successful journalists and events organisers or are we just fantasising about a life far too rare for all of us to succeed in? 

When I get home later that day, I sit and contemplate what Carrie would do. Or what she did do at my age- sadly that confusing, lost bit of her life is somewhat missed out between The Carrie Diaries and Sex and the City. 

A successful columnist for the New Yorker living in a beautiful apartment with beautiful clothes and a great group of friends; forget cat woman and super girl, Carrie Bradshaw is TV's most kick ass super hero. 

"When you want to be a doctor, you go to university, then you go to medical school, then you're a doctor. Why can't everything be that simple?" My friend is on a role for asking great, unanswerable questions today... "I mean, I want to work for a record label, or own one. How am I going to achieve that?" ... And there's another great unanswerable question.

For the past two weeks I've been trying my best to practise non-negative thinking, a brand new craze over taking the internet. It's not simply the practise of positive thinking, a customer in the shop told me, "Why set yourself up for disappointment? It's pointless hoping and saying that tomorrow will be glorious and sunny when it's the middle of winter. However, that doesn't mean you have to sit there and moan about how it's going to rain." She tells me "the more you practise none negative thinking, the more you open yourself up to the wider possibilities of a positive outcome."  

This may have been the reality check I needed. I may not be the next Carrie Bradshaw; or the next Jameela Jamil or Alexa Chung, but that doesn't mean I should feel disappointed, give up and wallow, because it's okay to fail. 

Because everything will be okay in the end, because it has to be. We have an amazing group of friends (just like Carrie Bradshaw) and that's all we need. The rest should just fall into place.

So, as a side note, a bit of advise from a second year to a first year: it'll be okay. Uni is the fun part, so just enjoy freshers. 

Boardmasters or Sexmasters?

After the longest game of sexual Never Have I Ever in the history of drinking games, my hazey brain started to think about the weird, sexy things that people do; and more importantly, where they do these weird sexy things. Especially at festivals.

"Never have I ever had sex in the dance tent..." Who's drinking? 

So way too many confessions later, me and my bestie wing man, Mozzy go on a hunt. Starting at one side of the camp site, we stagger around asking the general (and slightly smelly) public where the weirdest places people have had sex this weekend! 

So this was our top five,bthank you so much unwilling and drunk participants for your dirty little secrets....

1. "Last night I had sex behind the milkshake stand... While it was still open. I didn't know the guy but I'm pretty sure his name Andrew" - Laura, 20 

2. "I was banging this girl on the cliff edge so hard that we nearly fell off the edge of the cliff. Was worth it though haha!" - Nick, 22

3. "Me and my boyfriend got a bit excited on the first night and started having sex in the dance tent. Eventually people started noticing and in several strange moments I was struggling to pull my pants up while crowd surfing!! I think it's safe to say that it was the most embarrassing moment of my life" - Jen, 18

4. "I was so wasted last night and had been getting with this guy all night so thought, why not? I staggered back to the tent with him and we started fooling around, about 20 minutes later someone opens the tent and screams! I realise I've climbed into not only the wrong tent, but the wrong field! Talk about a walk of shame..." - Christina, 25

5. "I had sex in a port-a-loo. It was raining so me and some random chick took shelter in the toilet.. I was pretty hyped and next thing I know she's bent forward touching her toes. The port-a-loo must have been rocking a bit because we get a round of applause as we leave! Can I get some lad points?" - Sammy, 17

Yes Sammy, you can get some lad points! 

I think it's safe to say that when young people get left on their own, it's more than a few forts and slip and slides that we get creative with.

But it's not all about the sex. Here's a few picks from our forth year at the Boardmasters festival in Newquay.

The best fucking wingman a girl could ask for.

 

Peace Out.

Was That Good For You?

According to Urban Dictionary, a hopeless romantic is defined as someone who is both in love with being in love and being loved. This is apparently very different to a hopeless flirter, who is defined as someone who is simply in love with being loved. 

I'm the latter.

There's nothing wrong with being either, whether you are positively naive or just have some issues (I'm the latter again). After all, if you loose the bullshit, we're all just hopeless really.

Regardless of this fact, sometimes all a girl wants is fireworks. Beautiful, spontaneous fireworks that blow your mind and send you tumbling.

It doesn't have to last forever, in fact I'd go as far as saying it could only be one night. 

It may just be my inherent desire to be loved but it's starting to become clear that I'm asking for too much.

Surely a year of built up sexual frustration, a little too much vodka and a play fight is enough to set off some pretty epic fireworks. 

Were my expectations too high? I mean what was I actually hoping for? Because it's not like I'm a believer in fairy tales... And I don't want to marry the guy. 

Objectively, I have no reason to complain but it's clear my search for fireworks continues. Afterall, there was definitely no sign of them on the sofa; or on the floor, table, bed and in the shower. I checked twice! 

"Uh, was that good for you?" ..... Enough said.

Peace Out. 

The Arrogant Woman

Warning: this post is influence entirely by research done by Honey and Bunny, two of the terrible threesome

The site of the revolution

Free drinks, free taxis home- we don't even need to put out for the privileges anymore.

As the terrible threesome (we've been missing the third for a while) sit in a quiet cafe, we compare notes. Whether it's in a night club or getting a number from 'that guy' it turns out that one simple rule applies... If you don't ask, you don't get.

It's the 21st century and it turns out that women have realised a potential upper hand over the other sex: confidence. 

We've all heard of the arrogant man, who's confidence and self assurance makes him irresistible. So what about the arrogant woman? A woman who is confident, independent and knows what she wants. Men, imagine this kind of woman would you? Walking up to you in a night club and dropping all the shit, all the meaningless flirting and subtle hint-dropping; she wants you. You'd cripple to your knees surely? 

This new breed of woman is really taking control as well. We've been dubbed 'sassy' and even 'slutty' but there is no denying that there is very little difference between that and a cocky womaniser. 

But maybe this breed of woman isn't something that we decided, but something that was forced apon us. That's right men, this could be your fault. You've had your turn being womanisers and quite frankly, you've gotten lazy. Instead of being swept off our feet, we're lucky if we get to sweep our phone off the table because you're calling us. 

So now we're playing you at your own game. Scared? You should be.

You're chat up lines have been documented, your moves have been memorised and your attitude has been studied in countless films and chick flicks.

We know you, so it's about time you found out more about us. 

Just because we don't wear 50's dresses anymore, doesn't mean we don't want to be treated like we're being spun round a dance floor... And no, grinding your penis against our backs in a night club doesn't count.

We deserved to be wined and dined.

Take a tip from Karma Sutra.

Peace Out. 

My Time on Slut Row... Otherwise Known as Tinder

Imagine you're walking down the street, minding your own business when you can't help but catch someone's eye. There he is, checking you out, a tall dark stranger, checking you out. And there you are, checking him out. You smile and get on with your day considerably happier than you were 30 seconds ago. This isn't a movie, this genuinely happens... every now and then.

Now think about that happening to you on an average of 15 times a day. Then imagine that about 5 of these 15 (mostly) beautiful men decide they're going to talk to you. Even the most confident girl would wonder if someone had come along and given them a model style makeover over night... or just a full on face transplant.

Introducing Tinder, where you "match" people based on the fact that you both consider each other bangable. No other info needed, just pure shallow booty call fun.

On a totally experimental basis (I promise!) I downloaded the cheeky new app taking young single adults everywhere by storm.

Day 1: This was a stupid idea, I've been swiping people left like there's no tomorrow, where are the hot guys everyone's been telling me about??

Day 2: So as it turns out, nearly every guy I decide to like, has also liked me. Thanks new profile pic, you're doing well. Apparently all the guys on here are either psychic or massive stalkers because they all seem to know everything about my life and future plans... creepy!

Your Tinder picture is important.

Day 3: Turns out surfers aren't as 'rad' and indie as I thought. Yup, that's right, they're all on Tinder. Also discovered that by syncing Tinder with your Facebook, all you're info is transferred as well, which explains why all these guys have been asking me about New Zealand and journalism. Shout out to Tinder match number 10 for pointing that out for me... but no, I will not sit on your face.

Day 4: I'm an addict. Met up with some friends in town and could not put my phone down. Exchanged a few numbers today (or Whatsapp, or Facebook or Snapchat names). So far so good, thanks for restoring my faith in humanity guys, you're all nice people... Well, mostly! Yes I'm talking about you, Mr Fallen Angel. "Hey, looks like God has lost an angel. Or did you escape you naughty thing" is quite simply not how you start a conversation with a stranger. "Hey, did you know that pineapples don't grow on trees but like individual plants... like cabbages" is definitely a better way to capture my attention.

Day 5: This is getting a bit much, I feel like a top lying adulterant husband, and my friends think so too! I've got my favourites and I think it's probably time to narrow it all down, my ego is dangerous, selfies are occupying my life because apparently I'm sexy, with fabulous eyes (or eggs... my favourite opening line from a guy by far.)

Day 6: Now I'm just a slut. It has to stop. Goodbye Tinder, you were fun while you lasted, but my days are over. Tinder deleted.

It's been a week since I deleted it now and if I'm honest, I think it was for the best. Who needs men falling at your feet every hour a day? I definitely could do without the constant buzzing of my phone.

Over all, its just an shallow, ego boosting booty call all wrapped up in one big sexy app! So if you're horney, lonely and feeling a little down on yourself, give a few guys a like, get chatting, arrange a date and bang their brains out.

Call it what you like, it has it's uses...

Don't want to be a third wheel with your friend and her boyfriend? Take a Tinder date.

Need to get your mum off your back about being lonely and without a boyfriend? Use a Tinder date.

Peace Out, get laid.
 

The Older Man

Whether it's true or not, I've always preached the theory that women become mentally mature at a younger age than men... Therefore we have to pick someone older right?

It's no new trend, women have been attracted to older men for years. From Monica and Richard in Friends, to a school girl confessing that she's got a crush on a guy in college.

But as everyone hits the 18 mark and beyond, this theory seems to really come into it's prime; and apparently the age is 22. 

"Hope, it's all about the 22 year olds- I don't know what it is but they're the best in bed!" 

She's referring to her boyfriend of course. And I worked out that 22 is the current age of all those boys you thought were so attractive a few years above you in school. You always dreamed that one day they would notice you... And it turns out all it takes is a few years and serious style rethink. Who new? 

At times like this I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and tell my little awkward and nerdy self that it's okay, because in the future all those guys will actually be willing to sleep with you!

But what if you're talking to a 25 year old? Or sleeping with a 29 year old? Is there a point where it stops being 'older' and is just plain old? 

My theory is there are two lines a girl will not cross:

Over 30...

Obviously there's always someone who have a one night stand with a 35 year old man because they were just so wasted that night but over all, it's a general faux pa to be regularly sleeping with someone more than 10 years older than you.

Over 22 (if you want to bring him home) ...

Imagine being a mum (maybe you are a mum... Or a dad); your 19 year old says she wants you to meet her new boyfriend, she brings him home and introduces him as "hey, this is *insert name* and he's 27." Chances are he's not seeing his next birthday. But 22 is just about on that boundary of okay. 

So how did this come about? Do the lines increase a year everytime you get a year older? And where have all the guys the same age as you gone in this scenario? Are they also going for older women? Or are they continuing the cycle and have started going for younger girls? The questions go on and on. 

At the end of the day, I think it's up to the individuals and what they believe. But it's a trend that's been going on for centuries, why change it now? 

Peace Out.

I Like You.

The music blares, the dance floor bounces and peoples hands are thrown in the air in celebration.

Mazey. The one time of the year that it's okay to end up at Sound (the local night club). Anything goes and everyone is happy and intoxicated. 

Words aren't needed, communication is done through our moved on the dance floor, and thank goodness too because I doubt people have much to say beyond drunkern slurs of "I love you" and other profanities. We're here to have fun, we're here to let our hair down and what a better way to do it than at a town carnival. 

So here are some picture and my song of the night. Love you Lorde

400 Lux - Lorde

"We're never done with killing time, can I kill it with you, till our veins run red and blue....."

"We come around here all the time, got a lot to not do, let me kill it with you...."

"You pick me up and take me home again, head out the window again, we're hollow like the bottles that we drank....."

 

"You drape your wrists over the steering wheel, pulses can drive from here, we might be hollow but we're brave...."

 

 

"And I like you..."

 

 



 

"I love the road where the houses don't change..."

 

 

"And I like you ..."

 

 

 

"Where we can talk like there's something to say..."

 

 

 

"And I like you, I'm glad that we stopped kissing in the dark on the highway, we move in between the streets, I'd like it if you stay...."

 

 

 

"We're never done with killing time, can I kill it with you...?"

 



 



"Till our veins run red and blue."

Peace Out.

 

Just a little quote I plucked out the air

"I love that feeling when you know you're not just wanted, but needed by him. That feeling of irresistible lust and passion. The feeling when the fireworks finally start and everything around drops away until it's only the both of you in the world. But there's one certain thing about great things such as fireworks... They come to an end, and when they come to an end, everyone goes home. And that's the best feeling, knowing that you don't have to stand around and wait for the next show, you get to go home and relive it all again next time."

Summer lovin', hating and everything in between

Welcome to summer guys and girls. But don't get your hopes up too much because then you end up like us, the notorious terrible twosome.

Sat on the bed smoking and contemplating how people flirt in today's day and age, we're both utterly clueless. A newly single and a serial friend with benefits, we're both a little rusty in the dating department. 

An hour later and Miss just-got-out-a-relationship has recieved a Facebook request to sit on some very excited guys face. Maybe we're being too forward? God knows are flirting practise dummy seems to think so.

I've taken a slightly different approach... It's called the sit back, watch and laugh. 

When did flirting become the be all and end all of every sexual partner? My sexy talk/ flirting has always both begun and ended in the bedroom, so why does my availability and general need for sex now have to be posted on social media for all worthy and non-worthy possible fucks to see? 

And when did "I want to sit on your face" become a valid pick up line. Of course you have to respect the guy for putting himself out there so bluntly. 

As newly single as my twosome counterpart is, her own blog post about taking the moral high ground may need rethinking.

"FUCK THE MORAL HIGH GROUND!" We shout as we realise that we've been clearly ruining the first part of our summer. We're young, sassy and the "perfect combination of sexy and cute" to quote the crappy, girly romcom Crazy Stupid Love - a working title for my life. 

Between maybe imagining a cosmic undeniable attraction and sustaining the longest and most successful friends with benefits in history; a terrible love life from the past and the infidelity I promised I'd never committed. Life and love are both very complicated things. 

Whilst all these normal thoughts of a nearly 19 year old student (it's my birthday in 1 hour) are rushing through my brain, who has time to contemplate the mentally exhausted chess game of flirting? 

On Saturday I'll do what I want and act like me. It's not time to be loosing myself and it's most certainly not time for the terrible twosome to stop being terrible.

Peace out.

Birthday Fever

Everyone does it (or at least I hope they do). Your Birthday is around the corner, and all these plans come to mind. What you're going to wear, what you're going to do; who you're going to invite and who you're not. But the day looms closer, reality sinks in. Turns out, no matter how old I am, I'm still not Carrie from Sex and the City and I'm not going to be getting a pair of Manolo Blahnik's for a present, and neither will I be wearing them out for cocktails in London or New York.

They may break my neck but god they're
so beautiful!

Being a country bumpkin and going to university so close to London, it's really easy to get caught up in all the crazy city life. The expensive clothes, the constant glamour and the roof top lunches about 500m from the ground. It's easy to forget my Cornish roots. The most glamorous I've ever been was at my school graduation prom, it's hard feeling comfortable in slacks around slick city chics.

Good bye city life, hello Cornish life

Having to divide your home life and uni life is one of the hardest bits of growing up. Having no choice but to be an adult and have responsibilities at uni and look smart so people take me seriously and then being able to go home, let my down and fit back in to my life on the beach... it's not hard to get lost in yourself. A schizophrenic life.

But fuck it... I'm turning 19, I have my whole life to pretend to be a city chic.

On my birthday I'll be donning a tie die mini dress and boots and hitting the carnival night life of where I live in my little town in little Cornwall. So it's not Sex and the City, and so I was a little disappointed that it wasn't going to be all glam and stuff but this is who I am. Besides, I hate wearing high heels, even if they are Monolo Blahnik's .... So where's that beach?!

Peace Out.

"Why did I ever let you go?"

It's adorable isn't it? You've sat there through the emotional roller-coaster of a Rom-Com. The leading lady has been through so much. She started off as a single girl, feeling lonely because all her friends are happily in love. She probably has a heart breaking unlucky-in-love background and has excepted that she'll be lonely forever. Then a man comes along. He's usually a beautiful Ryan Reynolds looking guy and she falls in love, he breaks her heart and there's a long, wasted period of time in the film where she's back to being her lonely, single self. At the end the guy comes to his senses and makes a massive show of his love and shouts from the roof tops "WHY DID I EVER LET YOU GO?"

How romantic.

But lets stop and think for a second, because I think I've heard this one before. It's called fiction and no matter how beautiful it sounds coming from Ryan Reynold's mouth, it's just simply not that convenient.

"You don't know what you've got until it's gone" seems to have a catch here in reality. And it's called "gone and lost weight, found a skin matching foundation and invested in a new wardrobe".

But the main question here is: What was wrong with me before? Was it that I was too young; had a few pre-adolescent pimples on my face and hadn't yet discovered frizz-ease shampoo? Because here's a shocker, you weren't that pretty yourself.

I'm still the same load mouth, weird and awkward girl that you dated before. And if none of that bothers you, then the reason we broke up, isn't because "it wasn't the right time" or you were "really bogged down with work" but because I just wasn't pretty enough. And now, because according to you I am, I'll get a text message from you declaring (quietly) "WHY DID I EVER LET YOU GO?"

How romantic.

Really, I mean it, I'm thrilled. It's not like I've moved on, grown up and totally forgot we ever dated. Honestly!

At the end of the day, this is just going to cause an awkward situation, ruin the friendship we built up over time and waste a whole evening, dedicating carefully selected words to letting you down in the nicest possible way after you dumbed me on my ass the first time round.

How romantic...

The Last 18th

Nearly two years since the crazy festivities began, all my friends have now successfully entered the part of their life that involves enough alcohol to fill the Dead Sea. Fact. (Well... I can imagine it would).

Every birthday has been different, and some substantially messier than others, but I'm not giving out awards. EVERYONE'S A WINNER!!

This 18th was no different. A weekend of madness which is still going on now, and will for the rest of the week.

So here's a few little snippets from the weekend in crazy drunkern pictures....

I arrived at 9pm on Friday night and walked into a chaos of absolute strangers. And in the half hour she remained with the living, my friend did her best to introduce me to everyone, before running off to the bathroom to flush her memory of the night away... I only wish I had a picture of her bent over a bucket.... Sadly, this will have to do:

The next morning was messy, and a trip into Waterlooville in the same clothes we'd worn the day before without showering is something that is only excusable if it's in the form of a walk of shame. We did see a super cool mini on the way though...

 

The night out in Portsmouth both hilarious an painful... Turns out no matter how drunk you get, you can't get along with everyone, not even your six inch high heels. But if you power through the pain, don some neon gear, you can bop along to the cheesiest pop song in history ... Or just leave and go to another night club. We did both.

(No, I don't know where I god the viser from....)

(... Or the neon shades that look photoshopped onto my face)

The next night club was much more sophisticated... If you ignore the overwhelming smell of sick and B.O. and find a space in the crowd where men don't want to violate your innabiltiy to run away (more issues with the six inch heels).

.... But we're also getting drunker, and I look like a gremlin. But that's what alcohol is all about.

After a long night, and a long taxi journey home, I think Katie's had enough:

Only one night of madness left! And it's to the casino in Gunwarf for a meal and a 'bit of flutter'. But before that a lovely lunch down Southsea with the sun shining and everyone feeling lovely and hungover.

Turns out I'm pretty lucky until a cowboy stands behind me and steals my luck. Bastard.

The birthday cake was pretty awesome though.

Happy Birthday Katie and bye bye Portsmouth. It's time to go back to uni. 

Hello Brighton!

Now it's my sister and all her friends to turn 18... Good grief that'll be a mess.